When I trained in Taekwondo, I learned how to deflect an attacker’s punch by simply being elsewhere when the strike hits. Deflection at its best.
Nonviolent communication is similar. When we feel verbally attacked we are so conditioned to “punch” back, instead of deflecting or trying to understand what concern the attacker came from and turning the exchange around.
Recently I posted a picture of papaya on Instagram. A friend responded that she liked all fruit except papaya. At first, I took the comment personally, silly me. Obviously, her dislike of papaya had nothing to do with me and everything with her. So, then I turned the exchange around, away from me and responding to her observation, the nonviolent communication way. Instead of reacting to her dislike of papaya, I asked about her favorite fruit, and we had a lovely exchange about favorite fruits, hers and mine.
Turn it around. Poof! Gone.