did you take a big bite?

             Our current perception of time, cut up into segments that start over after each cycle, let's us take stock and reboot to begin fresh.  2016 is winding down with the passing of two big stars, Carrie Fisher and George Michael.  Neither of them was very old.   But a wise soul said to me once not to judge a life by its length but by its meaning.

            Here, then, are two messages to take away as this year wanes.  Take stock and look back.  What significance did this year have for you?  What did you learn?  What did you accomplish?  What influence have you had on those around you?  Did you give?  Did you take?  Have you gained depth?  Compassion?   What were the big moments this year for you personally?  How do they fit into the bigger scheme of the you-theme?  My biggest accomplishment this year was the completion of my book - finally.  It will be out this winter.

            The message that goes hand in hand with the first one is to live big, to live life to its fullest - my mother-in-law called it taking a big bite out of life.  You can't go back and fix things in the past.  But you can shift your mindset right now and make the next moment, and the next day or month or year, significant.  Take a big bite out of life today, and this coming year.  Make it meaningful, for yourself and others, through your actions.

Happy ChristmaHanukkah

            Finding canny significances in events and things - some call it synchronicity - makes life more meaningful, and can send a strong message. 

            This year Christmas Eve and the first day of Hanukkah fall on the same day.  Why not take this convergence as an opportunity to celebrate inclusiveness and togetherness?  We are stronger together than fragmented into splinter groups. Instead of lighting candles for Christmas, or lighting candles for Hanukkah, why not light candles for peace, for happiness, for compassion, for inclusiveness, for understanding, for awareness, for human rights this year?  May light prevail over darkness, and may love prevail over anger and hatred.  Wishing all a happy ChristmaHanukkah.

opening the door

             It's easy to post an opinion or a judgment out there on social media because nobody sits across from you and looks you in the eyes.  It may get rid of pent up anger or fear by throwing something out into cyberland.  But it doesn't open a real dialogue. 

            A true dialogue, and true healing, happens when we sit across from each other and see each other's humanness, our commonalities, when we share our dreams, whishes, and desires, but also our vulnerabilities, feelings, and emotions. 

            We are all entitled to our own opinions, and we don't have to agree with each other's views.  But discussing face-to-face how we feel, putting our fears out on the table, acknowledging our emotions, opens the doors to a dialogue, to listening, to respecting each other's thinking, to finding out that we usually have more commonalities than differences.

            Listening deeply opens up a space.   Open the door to peace and dialogue - it begins in your own heart.

time for Besinnlichkeit

             In German culture, Christmas, and the Advent weeks prior, is a time of Besinnlichkeit, which, like Gemütlichkeit (see earlier blog post on that), is a term that can't quite be translated directly, only approached through approximate synonyms and a description.

            American Christmas is "bright" and "merry," a time for joyful Christmas parties and conviviality.  The Christmas music reflects that - think of Here Comes Santa Claus, or A Holly Jolly Christmas.  German Christmas is reflective in flavor and indicative of the cold, dark time of year when we hibernate and go inward.   The German Christmas spirit also expresses the holiness of the celebration.  Germans get together for Advent coffee with homemade Christmas cookies and Stollen while listening to Christmas music and lighting the candles on their Advent wreaths; they go to Christmas concerts and Christmas markets; and the kids sit together over Christmas crafts (well, maybe no longer, but we did anyway, when we were young).  Many German Christmas songs are hundreds of years old and sound a lot more "churchy," solemn, mystical, and reflective.

            It's good to intersperse our hectic technology-infused lives with times of slowing down.   Besinnlichkeit is a combination of introspection and reflection, of pensiveness and going inward, of centering and grounding, of connecting with the spiritual.    To me, Christmas has always been somewhat mystical, and Besinnlichkeit let's me tap back into that enchanted world of childhood magic. 

the new values

         A few years ago we hired a bright young man who left our company after only three short months.   He decided that he didn't want to work as much, and proposed to work less hours for less pay (which didn't work for us at the time). 

            There is a new set of values around, and it's quality-of-life based.  The younger generation, of which many did not vote in this past election because they did not feel heard, has a different set of values from the profit-based, fast-paced, career-track oriented hustle for the next promotion and bigger salary of the twentieth century.   The new values are not about chasing the next buck, but about a better quality of life, sustainability, trust and transparency, as well as sharing, cooperation and creating community.

            We get a glimpse of these new values in the many grassroots movements that are popping up everywhere:  deeper awareness about food issues (such as veganism, reduction of food waste by way of redistribution, organics, the local food movement); increasing awareness of social values (fair trade movement, raising the minimum wage, shorter work hours); the many environmental organizations, whether awareness raising or preserving land for future generations;  transparency (such as promoted by Wiki Leaks) and pricing information available on the internet; free sharing of music, education, and information on the internet.  Skills and things are shared and swapped, without the exchange of money, in hour exchanges, seed exchanges, repair cafés, tool libraries, cooperatives of all kinds, clothing and book swaps, and via Freecycle.  Some communities are experimenting with local currencies, some employers with job sharing, flex time, paternity leave, summer hours, and more time off.

            In an earlier blog post I introduced the Cultural Creatives, the name Ray and Anderson gave to these people, including myself and many of us, who share these values.  Know that these impulses are glimpses of a new cultural-economic model breaking through from underneath.  It's incredibly exciting to know we are part of something bigger, and that we are experiencing this shift to new values in real time. 

keep enjoying

              We have created a throw-away society to feed The Economy.   We are used to so much abundance, and, granted, it's often cheaper to replace something than to have it fixed.  But this habit encourages needless consumption and expenses, more trash, and the making of more (cheap) stuff.

            In the fall people go on mum buying sprees, and by Thanksgiving the wilted plants end up on the compost pile.   But mums are perennials.  They may not come back entirely as vibrantly as the first year, but they don't deserve the trash treatment, you can plant them in your garden.  Same thing with poinsettias.  They have become such a Christmas industry because people buy them new each year.  Lo and behold, the three poinsettias I received as a gift last year are blooming for the second time around, and just in time for Christmas.  Spend less and keep enjoying.   Here a previous related post, small is beautiful.

special traditions

          Today we celebrate St. Nicholas in my country.  The children set out their shoes, plates, or stockings, depending on which part of Germany they come from, before they go to bed on December 5.  St. Nicholas comes overnight and brings goodies and small presents, which they find in front of their door when they wake up in the morning.  There is even a special St. Nicholas song for the days before he comes.  St. Nicholas is also celebrated in Holland, where the children receive their presents on this day, not on Christmas, as well as in Belgium. 

            Unless you are of Native American heritage, everyone comes from somewhere else here.  We all have shared American holidays and traditions, like Thanksgiving; and then we have our own cultural or ethnic traditions.   That is what makes this country so unique, and all our friends so interesting.  Our children are older now, but they hang on to that sweet tradition.  Our teenage daughter still sets her boots out - because - while our son gets his St. Nicholas package sent to college. 

            What are your special ethnic traditions you don't share with your neighbors?  Be sure to hang on to them.  It gets boring if we all do the same thing.

on the creative impulse

             This is one of the many precious observations I found in Deepak Chopra's recent book The Future of God: 

"Nature exists to show us the full range of life

in its most creative and most destructive forms."

            It is horrible, heart-wrenching, terrible when we witness or experience destruction and suffering.  It hurts emotionally when a friend simply gets lambasted for her opinion.  Chopra's phrase provides a lot of food for thought on offering an explanation for all the hatred, violence, disasters, and simply unpleasant experiences we encounter as we navigate life.  

            However, as I explored in a recent post on adversarial experiences, the bad stuff could be a point of inspiration for what we don't want, and in turn can become an incredible source of creative energy and renewal and impulse.  Imagine all the good stuff you want in your life, that the bad stuff helps you to define.  As in the yin-yang symbol, good and bad, disastrous and joyful, destructive and creative, are two aspects of the same whole, and exist through definition of their opposite. 

            If you don't like being out of a job, if you didn't like the result of the recent election, if you don't like your local politics, if you don't like the idea of killing animals for human consumption, if you don't like drab colors - turn that energy around and create what it is you actually want:  imagine the job you are looking for, vote in every and all elections (not only the presidential one), become active in your local community to improve its quality of life, eat more plant-based foods, and surround yourself with lots of joyful colors. 

            Dwelling on the negative makes you depressed, complaining and whining is not effective.  But turning a negative experience into a jumping point for something new and better is creative and wise.  Just imagine!