how do you see things?

"We do not see things the way they are, we see things the way we are." It's a quote of potentially old and unknown origin, but has most often been attributed to the writer Anaïs Nin. What is it supposed to mean? When we were young we all had those fears of dark basements, creatures lingering under our beds at night, or perhaps were afraid to bring the trash out after dark. We saw the world from our imaginary kid perspective, full of unknowns, of lurking dangers, of mystical creatures. When we became older those fears dissolved as a result of new knowledge, and we began to see the world from a different and new perspective, a more rational adult perspective.

Neither perspective is more real or less real, each is just one of many ways to see and experience the world. Imagine how a cat or a bee might experience this same exact world we all live in. An Australian aborigine sees and experiences the world from his particular traditions and symbiotic connection with nature. It's as if the world wrapped itself around our particular beliefs and perspectives, and mirrored back to us what we put out and who we are. You've probably heard something like "money begets money," or "the more love you give, the more love you get."  You see and get more of what you keep putting out.

When you believe in the beauty of the world and the beauty of people your world will be beautiful. If you believe in abundance you will have plentiful.   You see things the way you are.  Take a look around and notice what you see.

dream on

“If you limit your actions in life to things that nobody can possibly find fault with, you will not do much!” Lewis Carroll wrote. Carroll warns us from living in fear and invites us to dare living life to the fullest. Indeed, if you lead your life to please others, well, stop. No need to apologize for being you, for doing things you like to do, and doing them the way you like to do them.   If you want to dye your hair red or green, do it. If you want to take a belly dancing class, go do it. If you want to go swimming with the dolphins, plan a trip. If you have a secret passion, go live it. If you hate your job, imagine a different one.

It is so easy to find excuses. And sometimes it takes a while to fulfill a dream. But dreaming (with intent) is not only fun but the groundwork for fulfilling your dream (see a previous blog post "amazing intent" on this). We are often not so good with the imagining part. But that's the part that sets things in the universe into motion. The better you imagine what you want to manifest the more real it becomes in your mind.

Lewis Carroll's Alice asks the Cheshire Cat: "Where should I go?" to which the cat replies "That depends on where you want to end up."  That's the whole point. If you can imagine where you want to end up you can get there. But you must imagine your goal. Otherwise the universe doesn't get a clear message. Dream on! That's the beginning to getting from here to there.

relish your eggs, yolk and all

         Egg whites sans yolk became the virtuous thing to eat in recent years because of the misguided cholesterol scare (I recently wrote about the fat myth). I find egg whites by themselves bland and love my yolks. Rather, I live for the yolk and eat the white just because it happens to come with it, although egg whites do have their place in chocolate mousse and meringues. The deep yellow oozy yolk, warm and runny, is just soooo delicious (see a post on my soft spot for soft boiled eggs). Egg yolks were vilified by a culture that was quick to believe one-sided and misinterpreted scientific tests, and valued scientifically engineered food products over what nature made. The food industry saw a quick profit in our fear of cholesterol (take a look at information from the Weston Price Foundation on the misguided cholesterol myth). Hence those egg white omelets, and egg products like desiccated egg white powder, substitute egg mix, and liquid egg whites in a carton.

         Not only are eggs one of the healthiest foods on earth, they are also a brain food, provide one of the highest levels of protein, and are an excellent source of vitamin D (eat more of them in the wintertime when you don't get out into the sun as much) and minerals. The much bigger problem is the low quality of eggs coming from industrialized mass egg productions and the egg products made from them. Do eat eggs, but buy them from a local farmer who lets the chickens roam and eat grubs (see a blog post on that as well).  If you want to save food $ consider cutting back drastically on your meat consumption and getting more of your protein from the best quality eggs you can find.

In the end, we are better off looking at the causes of cardio-vascular and heart disease from an emotional perspective, which merits a blog post in itself, rather than making cholesterol the culprit.  So - have your eggs and eat them too!

love your stress

Love your stress?? I'm not kidding.  Stanford University health psychologist Kelly McGonigal has put forth a radically different understanding of stress, which could not only save your life but also that of thousands of others.   The broader implications are in sync with what has been called "the biology of belief" (as in Bruce Lipton's namesake book), which says in a nutshell that your beliefs fundamentally shape your body's well- and illbeing. This is radical because it means that if you can change your belief you can heal your ailments (also see an earlier blog post about this). In alternative medicine this is actually not such a new concept. Deepak Chopra and Henry Grayson are just two of a long list of doctors and psychologists who profess just that. But back to stress in particular. In her TEDTalk McGonigal bases her theory on two studies about stress that run counter to what we have been hearing all these years.

The first point is that stress is not what makes you sick, but rather your beliefs that stress is harmful. Instead, she explains, the pounding heart simply prepares you for action, while the faster breathing brings more oxygen to your brain. The study showed that the blood vessels only constricted - and this is the potentially harmful reaction - if the subject believed stress was harmful. When the subjects did not believe that stress was harmful the blood vessels remained relaxed, like in moments of joy! McGonigle is telling us to see our stress response as helpful, not harmful, and knowing that stress is "your body helping you rise to the challenge."

The point from the second study is that stress makes you social because oxytocin, the cuddle and relationship hormone, but also a stress hormone, is released during a stressful situation, nudging you to seek support and surround yourself with caring people. Oxytocin protects your cardiovascular system because it helps to heal the heart cells from any stress damage. "Stress opens the path to the heart!"

Sooooooo: a. your beliefs transform your stress experience and b. relationships create stress resilience.  Wonderful news!

enjoying Gemütlichkeit

Wintertime, when it is dark and damp and cold and windy outside, is the quintessential time of year when Germans yearn for Gemütlichkeit and Danish people for hygge. There is no direct translation for either word, but it means cozy-warm-fuzzy-comforting. The term describes a combination of appearance and ambiance, and is culturally linked to the need for physical and psychological protection from the raw fall and winter weather of those countries.

A room, home or restaurant is gemütlich when it is not too big, warm, the lights are dim (maybe candles are lit), the ceiling is not too high, the colors are in the warm spectrum, the sound level is muted or soft music is playing, maybe a fire is lit in the fireplace, you can sink deeply into the soft furniture, the smell of cookies baking in the oven or a thick winter stew simmering on the stovetop might waft through the air, and you feel safe and coddled and know that everything is all right.

You can feel gemütlich by yourself, with a loved one or with a few close friends, but not in a crowd. It feels gemütlich when you sit in front of your fireplace in the late afternoon or evening in comfortable clothes on a soft couch with a cup of tea and a good book and without a care in the world, moreso if the weather is really miserable outside. You cannot feel gemütlich when the sun shines brightly, when the weather is balmy and the windows are open, when you sit in an upright hard chair, when you wear formal clothes, when the place is expansive with high ceilings, or when you are upset and preoccupied.

Now is the time to be gemütlich, because it's over with the Gemütlichkeit as soon as the weather warms and spring fever hits.

less (household) waste

And now for the last installment on reducing waste. It is better for the environment and our landfills if we keep as much waste out of them as possible.

freecycle

The first tip to reducing household waste is to buy less stuff (especially stuff of the plastic kind), and to buy more carefully. We live a life of luxury and abundance (even if it doesn't always seem that way), are tempted by the many bargains and sales that pressure us into buying, and often make spontaneous purchases that we don't need or even like (hence buyer's remorse). With regard to quality over quantity my dad used to say that he "can't afford to buy cheap." What he meant was that cheap stuff breaks faster and therefore needs to be replaced faster, and so ultimately costs more (and creates more waste).  Better to buy good quality items even if they are more expensive upfront. They will last longer and are a better investment in the long run.

Next tip is to recycle and buy recycled, aka second hand. This also reduces the amount of things that need to be manufactured, and the amount of things going into the waste stream. I buy a lot of clothes at second hand shops (I find more interesting things there, and I do hate mall shopping with a passion), donate unwanted furnishing items to a local shelter coordinator, and unwanted books to my local library. You can also resell your books on cash4books.net, as a friend recently pointed out. There are second hand shops for furniture now, and then there are whole organizations, such as Freecycle.org, that do nothing but help people shuffle their unwanted stuff around. Check it out, they have local chapters everywhere.

DSC01229

Repair, repair, repair is my mantra. Recently, I had a pair of 20-year-old leather boots repaired that was still in good condition and which I really like. The repair was not inexpensive, but I prevented the boots from filling the landfill some more and I supported my local cobbler. Unfortunately, many appliances and electronics are inexpensive and have what they call "built-in obsolescence," and are often impossible to get repaired. It is frustrating. But I spent a few hundred dollars more on a new washing machine recently, which is supposed to last 15-20 years, instead of another one I was considering with an 8-10 year lifespan.

And lastly, I use www.ourcommonplace.com/yourlocation quite frequently for either donating and selling items, or requesting things I need. A while ago I needed reusable name tag holders for a local non-profit and found them for free from someone who had a box of them stashed away they no longer needed. More recently, we were looking for a ping pong table and I asked the local commonplace forum whether anyone was selling a used ping pong table. Lo and behold, a kind neighbor offered us one for free.

making mayonnaise

Deep living to me also means making more food from scratch instead of buying the store bought version. Leading a busy life (and we all do) often becomes an excuse for reaching for convenience, but some things are just so easy and quick to make that there isn't much of an excuse, and the quality of taste and ingredients is so far superior. Mayonnaise is one of those things that takes only minutes to make - literally! My mayonnaise has exactly four ingredients: one large egg(if your egg is small use a little less oil, otherwise your mayonnaise becomes runny), 300ml oil (olive oil if you like a stronger taste, or grapeseed oil for a more neutral mayonnaise, or a combination), juice of one lemon, and a heaping tablespoon of Dijon mustard, which provides enough salt, so no additional salt needed.  In comparison, Hellman's has nine ingredients and uses soy oil (GMO for sure), vinegar instead of lemon, sugar (sugar in mayonnaise???) and salt, besides preservatives and "natural flavors."

Here is the 5-minute process for a bowl of the yummiest homemade mayonnaise. And if you remember ahead of time, do take the egg and mustard out of the fridge beforehand so all ingredients are at room temperature. Put the (big) egg, the mustard, the lemon juice and about a tablespoon of the oil in a food processor and let run for a minute or so. Next, drip 50ml of the oil really really slowly into the food processor while it is running - my almost-30-year-old Cuisinart has a drip top especially made for making mayonnaise so you can let the machine do the dribbling while you do something else. Finally, add the other 250ml of oil in a thin steady stream to the running machine. Ready! Five minutes tops!

We Europeans like mayonnaise on our French fries (so much better than ketchup, at least that's what we think) and with cold lobster or crab (no drawn butter, please). But it's also delicious on a sandwich with leftover chicken or turkey, or with other cold leftover meat. And one of my secret snack vices, when I need a quick pick-me-up and I do happen to have a bowl of mayonnaise in the fridge, is to take a cracker (or two, or three) or a piece of bread (toasted is better) and dunk it into this onctuous sauce. Soooooo good! Once you make it you'll never go back to store bought.

less (paper) waste

Since we take (too many) trees down to make paper, it makes sense to become more aware of the amount of paper we use and be diligent about it. Let's try to reduce its use, save it, reuse it or at least recycle it. Paper can be recycled multiple times before it becomes unfit for another cycle.

Reading your paper online, your books on an e-device, and sending emails and e-cards (and who writes paper thank-you cards anymore?) helps to reduce the amount of paper that needs to be manufactured. Although tedious, unsubscribing from catalogs you don't want is an important action. I save and reuse paper gift bags if they are in good condition. And in general, I am a dedicated, bordering on obsessive, recycler of all household paper and cardboard, such as cereal and other cardboard packaging, newspapers and magazines, Amazon shipping boxes (if I can't reuse them for sending out something else), envelopes, toilet paper and paper towel rolls (if I find them in the garbage I will take them out).

Since I get me eggs from friends or local farms I always bring the egg cartons back for reuse. Books you no longer want can be donated to your local library, or be given to friends who have not read them.

In my home office I make double-sided copies or print-outs, or print on back pages (the kids generate tons of one-sided school related paper I print on).  I also use shredded paper as packing material instead of the terribly environmentally unfriendly styrofoam peanuts or bubble wrap (I shred everything with a name and address on it, which makes for quite a bit of packing material).

If you do need to buy paper and paper goods, and we can't get around basics such as toilet paper and paper towels, paper napkins for the occasional party, or copy paper, consider buying products made from 100% recycled paper. But even I have my limits - I don't buy tissues made from recycled paper because I find them scratchy.