on being responsible

Life is demanding, hence we love to be led, told what to do, and be absolved of responsibility.  One thing less to worry about seems often like a really good idea. Yet, when you turn over responsibility, you give up control and agency, and the opportunity to formulate your own approach or direction. 

When you order takeout for dinner, you give up control over the ingredients in your food and what nourishes your body for the convenience of not having to cook.  When you go to the doctor and come unprepared to discuss your own research and preferred approach, you give up control over what goes into your body or the logistics of your healing process.  When you do something because “somebody said so” or someone “told you to,” you relinquish the opportunity to create your very own experience, instead living someone else’s reality.  

Of course, nothing is ever black and white.  Without followers we would all need to be leaders and that doesn’t make sense in a universe of polarities.  Some of us just prefer to be followers, and sometimes we decide when to be led and when to lead.  Nevertheless,  it’s good to do research and make an informed decision in order to have an opinion that’s grown on your own turf instead of someone else’s.   Being responsible is empowering, if involved and more demanding.  You have the opportunity to choose many times each day.

over the head with a bang

Activists, scientists, and politicians tread a fine line between the need to alarm and the need to inspire the public.  Exclusive and relentless gloom and doom messages cause us to cower in fear and overwhelm.  But at one point it’s also time to get our heads out of the sand and decide what future we want to create for our children and grandchildren.

Climate change is no longer drowning the far away Seychelles, it is now violently banging us over the head in the Pacific Northwest, the Southwest, and Middle Europe.  Will we get the message in time to avoid our own demise?

Perhaps we have been asking the wrong questions all along because we have been approaching climate change from the perspective of our culture of lack.  It is not so much a question of what we need to less of or what we should deprive ourselves of. Rather, the issue has to do with reverence, appreciation, respect and cooperation.  We must relearn to appreciate nature for our living environment, we must thank nature for the beautiful foods we are able to grow in cooperation with it, we need to redirect our gaze to its majesty and beauty, we have to recognize the abundance nature is showing us all around.  Only when we come from a place of reverence and gratitude, of wanting to work together with nature, not against it, will the answers reveal themselves easily.

Recently this beautifully inspiring short film that attempts to dislodge us from our collective climate change action inertia popped up in my social media feed.  Perhaps it’ll inspire you, to shift from lack to abundance, from inertia to urgency and action.  

it's ok

Friends who come over for a meal and help clean up afterwards are often surprised that we don’t compost.  I’ll buy my favorite whole milk raw milk yogurt in plastic, and sometimes I dilute some smelly toxic bleach stuff to clean the mold spots on the shower grout.

The 80/20 rule applies to me, and doing the best I can instead of being dogmatic and unwavering seems sensible. Composting is currently not convenient, and since we otherwise produce so little garbage, and recycle everything that can possibly be recycled, I won’t feel bad about throwing my produce waste into the trash can.  Plastics from the packaging process leach into peanut butter, so I make sure to buy tahini and nut butters in glass jars.  However, I’ll buy my favorite yogurt in plastic and avoid a lengthy trip to the farm for the single glass jar benefit.  Most of my cleaning gets done with vinegar and a few other inoffensive products.  But sometimes I need to bring in the strong and toxic stuff to get the job done properly. 

To make a long story short, compromising here and there, albeit with awareness, is ok.  No need to be a saint, no need to be dogmatic, no need to be a good girl or boy 100% of the time.  Just doing the best you can and giving yourself a break, with awareness, is ok. 

trust and surrender

Since March 2020 I haven’t felt particularly productive with all this anxiety around the virus, partisan politics and all the social suffering, the accelerating effects of climate change and our collective hesitance to act decisively.  That anxious energy is all around and difficult to escape.  Hence, I haven’t yet had the motivation to write that “other cookbook” that’s been germinating in my mind.  Just like a pregnancy, the cicada cycle, or a sour dough can’t be rushed, an incubation period, personal or societal, takes its own time.  Unfolding takes time. Sometimes it goes fast, sometimes not so much.  

Patience and trust are difficult for us because they require surrender, and surrender runs counter the ego’s need to manipulate and feel in control.  In addition, patience is a challenge because technology has trained us to expect speedy results and resolutions.  Hence, patience runs counter to our culture.  My ego thinks it knows better than my soul and that creates internal struggle and doubt.  “I’m supposed to be writing this book, the idea is already there!”  “But I’m not inspired, the motivation is just not there.”  “Time is money, what am I waiting for?”  “I know, I know.”

If we can only trust ours and the universe’s wisdom in the process of unfolding, resist the urge to try to speed things up, and instead watch what wants to happen, it would promote a greater sense of peace with what currently is.  Things are less predictable than we want them to be.  Trying to force things to happen when they “don’t want to happen yet” is not productive.  This, I need to lean into my own advice to surrender, trust, and be patient.  

What is your experience with watching a process unfold with patience?