it's not about you!

             When you become annoyed at your friend for saying something not so nice about your outfit, it's not about you, it's about her.  You obviously liked your outfit when you got dressed this morning.  But your friend has different taste and likes different styles, or colors, or outfits.  When she reacted to your outfit it had to do with her ideas, her taste, her likes - not you.  We get it all wrong when we believe others criticize us for us.

            You have no control over many of the things that happen to you during the course of the day, whether it's people's comments, their demands, or unexpected events.  What we do have complete control over (at least in theory until we get used to this new way of thinking) is our emotions and feelings, our own reactions to our interactions with life. 

            So, you became miffed at your friend.  Well, who knows why she said what she said.  But you'll never know until you make an effort to find out and dig deeper.  You might consider saying something like "Sounds like you don't like my dress."  And your friend might completely surprise you by replying "Oh, I've always hated the color red," or "That dress reminds me of something my mother used to wear, and it brought back a lot of negative memories."  You never know where someone else's comments are coming from until you tune in and actually ask.  Then there is true connection and you'll find out that it was about her all along - not you.